Bobby,
Its been a long long time since Ive written here. Wow.
I promised myself Id never write here again. I did a fair job, didnt I? But now I have some things to say that I dont think I could ever say to you anywhere but here. They belong here, along with everything else between you and I. Things that I can type into this little white box but never say to you when we talk.
I still love you.
To this day, you are what I think of when I think of the word "love". You have changed my world, my life, the way I feel and the way I believe.
But I can honestly say that I am alright, knowing that you may or may not love me anymore. Talking to you doesnt hurt me anymore. I dont ache for you at night anymore, and I dont hate you either. For a long time, I was bitter and I wished you could only know how much you hurt me. And that was selfish of me.
I am so happy being in your life again... being your friend is something I always wanted but I never knew if Id be able to achieve it. I didnt know if Id ever get past the hurt and the ache. If Id ever stop being mad at you. Or if Id ever be able to know that you lay in bed at night with someone else.
They say that time heals all wounds though, and maybe it does. In our case, it did. It took me time. And time can be your friend or foe, it all depends.
Now, I look forward to talking to you and making you laugh. I like to hear about your day and I try to help you feel better when youre down. I love the little teasing we do and the way we can joke with each other.
Im in love with being your friend.
I want you to be happy, Bobby. That was the number one thing I wanted when we were together, and its the number one thing I want while were apart.
Do whatever it takes to bring you joy. You deserve it more than anyone I know.
Because you brought me so much joy in my life and it has forever changed me. I am better for loving you, I am different for knowing you, and Im eternally greatful for having a small slice of your life and your heart.
Imagine, if you can make someone else feel this way... what could you do for yourself?
Take care, Duckie, I love you and miss you with all my heart. Remember that I am always here, and Im still your Pingers, deep down inside.
Ill never forget what we had, and even through all the days afterwards, then and now... I will never forget the way you made me feel.
I thank you.
Love always,
Lissy
9:50 p.m. - 2003-08-19
Recent entries:
contact me - Wednesday, Dec. 22, 2010
memories. - Thursday, Nov. 05, 2009
Here I am again... writing to no one. - Saturday, Nov. 01, 2008
hi. - 2008-05-13
done. - 2008-01-16
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