I don't know why I keep coming back here. Or why I still think about you after all these years. I'm more curious than anything. Wondering if you are alive, how you are, where you are, who you're with... how your life turned out to be.
I don't think of you every day anymore, so I guess I am making progress. I don't think I am in love with you anymore, not like I used to be, at least.
I have finally found someone to replace you... or maybe he is better than you ever were, I don't know. I put you up so high for so long I didn't know if I could ever love someone the way I loved you. But I have and I do. He reminds me alot of you... he treats me like a queen, makes me feel important and makes me feel beautiful.
I'm getting married soon. We got engaged last Christmas. He got down on one knee in front of my whole family on Christmas eve, with a ring and a huge smile on his face. He wants to spend his life with me.
I love him with all my heart and soul and its amazing because I never thought I could find someone to love and fully trust again. No one ever held a candle to you before until I met him. Well, he holds a blowtorch. Haha.
I'm a mommy now. Yes, my dream finally came true. I have a son. He is a little over 6 weeks old and he is the love of my life. The best thing I have ever done, hands down. He is beautiful, absolutely amazing.
Sometimes I think of you and I wonder if I'll ever hear from you again. I want to tell you about my little boy so badly. Because you, of all people, know how badly I wanted to be a mom.
I wonder if you would be proud of me, of the life I have made for myself. I wonder if you would even recognize me now. I'm a completely different person than the "Lissy" you once knew. I mean, I'm still me... but a better version, I guess.
I guess I just wanted to let you know that you're still thought of from time to time. You're still one of the most influential people I've ever met. You're still loved and cared about. I still pray for you.
Well, I doubt you ever read this so I'll just leave it at this... I've said it before, but I'll say it again... please know that I am forever changed because of who you are and what you've meant to me.
If you ever want to talk... my AIM screen name is the same: lissypenguin. I hope to hear from you. Hugs, Lissy
2:59 PM - Saturday, Nov. 01, 2008
Recent entries:
Wicked. - Tuesday, Dec. 01, 2015
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contact me - Wednesday, Dec. 22, 2010
memories. - Thursday, Nov. 05, 2009
Here I am again... writing to no one. - Saturday, Nov. 01, 2008
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