I dont know if you ever read this anymore... its probably long forgotten, but the chance that you might still come here makes me happy. Knowing that you, too, like to remember how we once were. I still come here often, and re-read everything, smiling at the thought of how happy I once was.
I havent talked to you in a very long time... where have you been? Are you ok?
I miss you so much.
Oh Bobby.... I dont know what to say anymore. Im still fucking in love with you. I swear to God, I think about you every single day, over and over, always wonder what youre doing, always wonder where you are. Wonder if you ever think about me... I swear to you, I will never ever love someone the way I loved you. Why??? After all these years... damn.
And it just hurts... it fucking kills me... inside I am holding all these memories, all these feelings, all these things I want to say, things I want to do. I still think about the nights you held me next to you, the days we spent together that made me feel like the most beautiful woman in this crazy world... god, you made me feel so amazing. Ive never let go of the memory of that feeling.
But you are married now, you have a beautiful wife and a beautiful little girl. And Im still holding fast to dreams. How lame am I??? Geez.
But you know... the way that I still feel about you all these years later, it says something about you, Bobby. It says that youre a fucking amazing person. To keep me tied to you, after all this time, all the things that have happened between us, all the bullshit that has happened to me over the past months... the memory of your love gives me hope. That if I can maybe capture what I had with you... with someone else... Ill finally be happy.
Sure, I wish it was you that I could capture those feelings with again... could that ever happen? Is that possiblity still there? I think not. Oh, how I wish it were though.
But deep inside me... I have a feeling. I will see you again some day. I dont know how, or when, or where, or why... but Ill be seeing you, Bobby. I promise you that.
I want to look you in the eye one more time and tell you that you are loved.
And I'll be back 'round again
Yes I'll walk in time with you old friend
And we'll find that place
That we had danced in so long ago
-Dave Matthews Band
love always,
melissa lynn
2:34 a.m. - 2006-01-22
Recent entries:
contact me - Wednesday, Dec. 22, 2010
memories. - Thursday, Nov. 05, 2009
Here I am again... writing to no one. - Saturday, Nov. 01, 2008
hi. - 2008-05-13
done. - 2008-01-16
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